INTRODUCTION

I was born and raised a strict Christian fundamentalist in Malaysia. It took sustained effort, along with mental anguish, to examine the basis of my childhood faith. The original purpose of my quest, undertaken soon after I arrived in Australia in 1981 as a migrant, was to seek corroboration of my fundamentalist beliefs. In the course of my research I stumbled upon many inconsistencies in the edifice of Judeo-Christian tradition. At first I found it hard to believe that religious doctrines held as fact by Western society for more than two thousand years could be founded on such tenuous and dubious ground.

Not only that, the deeper I delved the more obvious it became that there had been a systematic campaign of disinformation and distortion carried out over the centuries by generations of ecclesiastics and scribes entrusted with the spiritual well-being of the illiterate and unquestioning masses. But why? What – or whose – purpose would it serve to conceal or mislead the public on such essential issues? Is it possible that it all boiled down to a perverse desire to have power over others? Was religion – especially fundamentalism - just another virulent variety of energy vampirism? Was there even a kernel of truth to be found within the world’s “holy” scriptures?

I began to read widely and compare. First I explored scientific materialism and found it desperately lacking in soul, though it’s certainly useful to be acquainted with what has become, especially in the last couple of centuries, the dominant paradigm of any industrial society. Then I investigated other philosophical and spiritual traditions – Hinduism, Buddhism, Islam, Sufism, Taoism, and the so-called New Age teachings. I was fascinated by the convergence of science and spirituality I discovered in the writings of cutting-edge thinkers like Fritjof Capra (The Tao of Physics, The Turning Point) and Gary Zukav (The Dancing Wu-Li Masters, The Seat of the Soul). I soon overcame my unbeliever’s guilt and began to thoroughly relish my wide-ranging search for meaning and significance in the contemporary world.

There’s a charming Malay idiom we were taught in school – katak di bawah tempurung – which means, insular, like a frog under a coconut shell. As I shed my layers of Christian fundamentalist programming and threw myself wholeheartedly into my vision quest, I felt just like that frog, emerging from under its coconut shell and seeing the light of day for the very first time. The glorious feeling of liberation inspired me to document my journey of self-discovery, as an encouragement to others who may be ready to outgrow the constrictions of fundamentalist dogma, and also as a sort of legacy to my children’s children - who will, I hope, appreciate the fact that their grandfather wasn’t just a boring old accountant, but was indeed an intellectual and spiritual voyager, as well as an aspiring writer and publisher!

Throughout history, religious hierarchies have wielded enormous power and influence, and they still do. Religion continues to be regarded as a taboo subject for everyday conversation. If knowledge is power and ignorance bliss, it’s only to be expected that the power elites would want to maintain their monopoly on knowledge while keeping the general public ignorant. Very early in the game, a pact was made between the Bishop of Rome and Emperor Constantine: the Church would bless Constantine’s secular authority while the emperor recruited converts for the Church at sword-point. Since then it has been the policy of secular authorities never to interfere with or upset the religious establishment.

As a result of this artificial schism between the secular and the spiritual realms, it has become possible for a thug to attend religious services one particular day of the week – and then carry on being a thug the rest of the time. And when this Great Divide was applied to Science and Religion, it further reinforced the split between our left and right brains, between Matter and Spirit - and between our inner and outer selves.

It seems to me that we have been building more walls than bridges. Walls are a symbol of separation and isolation, bridges connect. I believe it’s imperative that we redirect our energies towards building more bridges and dismantling more walls. After all, if it’s privacy one needs, a graceful bamboo blind or elegant Japanese screen will do the trick nicely. High walls topped with broken glass and barbed wire do not a happy reality make – and God (or Goddess) knows there’s already more than enough unhappiness in our world.

Militant fundamentalists and violence-prone fanatics are an obstacle to a peaceful and harmonious world. This is the “Mr Hyde” side of religious indoctrination – whether Zionist, Christian, Muslim, or Hindu (Buddhists seem more inclined to do violence to themselves - through self-immolation, for instance – than to others!). 

I was well and truly indoctrinated as a child and it took me a long time to even accept the possibility that my earlier views may have been limited or erroneous. I haven’t gone out of my way to create controversy, but the subject matter of this book is contentious by definition. There are no absolute answers to the issues discussed herein. During my learning process - which included lively debates with friends, colleagues and relatives - I was often told to ascertain the source of my information. I was also advised not to accept everything I read as the truth. This is always sensible advice and I suggest the reader approach this book with the same discernment and detachment.

At the same time an open mind - and an open heart - are prerequisites to receiving new inputs, leading to a new understanding. The fact that you’re holding these “confessions” of an erstwhile hardcore Christian fundamentalist in your hands is proof enough that it’s never too late for anyone to change their mind about anything.

And therein lies humanity’s only hope for a future full of beauty, joy, and love - not to mention truth.